AliceEvil
by J'adore Edward
Summary: In a trade Bella agrees to go on a shpping trip with Alice for two days and a night in return for a weekend alone with Edward. Little does Bellla know Edward and Alice have been plotting. I would be grateful if you read this it's my first.
1. Chapter 1

BPOV

**AN-I do not own any recognisable characters or places in this story. Those characters belong to the incredible Stephenie Meyer and her fantastic imagination. I am just a person who is putting them through numerous escapades and much trauma to entertain myself and others.**

Edward?

I heard a growl from behind me and a smile danced across my lips.

"Now, now, play nice." I teased pretending to pout.

Edward jumped from behind me and grabbed my waist capturing me in a steadfast hold smiling into my ear he whispered "Whenever don't I Ms. Swan"

I giggled "Well holding a young lady who is not your wife or your fiancée captive may be"

Edward flashed me my favourite crooked grin temporarily dazzling me. "That is something I would be very happy to change" He said. "Well then let me go" I teased. "You know that's not what I mean" he pouted and somehow I don't think he was pretending. He did move away from me though which was when I grabbed his shirt and pulled him back "I didn't really mean let go!"

I let out a sigh. Last night had been as close to perfect as it could get with Edward's damn morals. The whole family had been out hunting thanks to my deal with Alice so it had been just the two of us, in about five minutes though they are all going to come bursting through the door and Alice was going to take me on a shopping trip for two days. I didn't completely regret my deal with Alice, the only thing I regretted was saying she could buy me anything she wanted with no enforceable budget. That I was sure to regret.

Edward traced my lips with a smile on his perfect god like face. "There can only be one reason you have on that highly horrified face." He let out a laugh that was as pure as gold but so much more desirable. "Come on Bella you never know you may even enjoy your shopping trip. I am the one who should be annoyed your abandoning me for a whole two days, for my sister whatever am I to do" I would have felt much sorrier for him if he hadn't been smirking the whole time. Just as I was about to tell him so the door practically exploded off its hinges as Alice yelled out in a voice that was much louder than necessary "Times up Bella your mine now" I knew that the very, very evil grin on Alice's face could only mean terrible things for me.

"Cheer up Bella" Alice said "This is going to be fun"

**Please review this is my first fanfic and I need encouragement/constructive criticism and I'm not sure if I should go on**


	2. Chapter 2

BPOV

I was in the car with Alice when I fell asleep, I couldn't help it I had stayed up most of the night to make the most of my time with Edward and Alice had made sure I was really comfortable even playing my lullaby in the car's stereo. That was the stage where I should have become suspicious, but no I had to be the tired little human and fall right into evil Alice's plot. I woke up in a place that was instantly recognisable, I woke up in the airport. "Good Morning sleepy head" Alice said with so much enthusiasm it should have been illegal. "Alice" I hissed furious at her evil and possibly psychotic mind. "Why are we in an airport I thought we were going shopping?" "We are" she replied "we're just not doing it in this state". I took deep calming breaths in and out that's all I focused on "and just where will we be shopping Alice?" I asked in a strangled and uneven voice. "In New York!" Alice squealed with excitement. I sighed in frustration it was going to be a very, very long two days.

EPOV

I was at the airport half an hour before Alice and Bella. I went straight to check in and was the first person on the plane I smiled in delight this was going to be a very, very fun two days. 


	3. Chapter 3

**AN-I apologise for chapter two being so short I just wanted to add something on fast because I got reviews. I really would love it if you took the time to review this and it will definitely make me pump them out faster and longer. I'll try to stop adding such short chapters.**

BPOV 

I inhaled very deeply trying to remain calm when I smelt something suspiciously like Edwards amazing scent. I looked around scrutinizing everyone in my line of sight when I quickly gave up. I was being paranoid there was no reason for Edward to be here at all in fact I wouldn't have been surprised if he didn't even know about it. Alice had probably reached Seattle and decided that nothing but the biggest and most expensive malls in the world were to her taste. I knew that Alice loved to shop and that Alice loved to shop for incredibly expensive stuff but I thought this was a bit excessive even for her. Oh well I'm sure she has an ulterior motive I just had to wait until it revealed itself to me because I knew it would, they always do.

We were on the plane flying business class because they had no first class, for which I was glad. I was being particularly jumpy I couldn't shake the feeling that someone was watching me. Oh well there goes my paranoia again it was probably from not seeing Edward for a whole 3 hours 11 minutes and 43 seconds but hey who's counting. I watched Alice return with curiosity, one, well o.k. several, well o.k. all the flight attendants had been ogling her from the minute she had set foot on the plane at which stage she promptly fled to the bathroom. I had been wondering how long she could hide in there when an old man with a developing gas problem from not being able to use the bathroom had started becoming impatient outside the door.

I snickered with glee which would be more important to Alice avoiding the lusty flight attendants (and passengers) or avoiding the smell that would assault her heightened senses for the next few hours if that man didn't go to the toilet soon. Her smell won. She slowly made her way out of the bathroom and walked back to her seat (the aisle seat because I got sick in the aisle seat). Numerous men came up to her and desperately pleaded for her hand in marriage while others just stood there and stared. Some didn't have enough guts to approach and admired Alice with awe. A few even came on to me in an obvious attempt to get to Alice. But Alice sent them all packing in a second she was looking nervous almost like she was worried someone would see. She was probably just worried about the trouble she would get in from Edward if she accidentally thought about these men's behaviour to me. But Alice didn't usually care about these things maybe... Nah it was just me being paranoid again I really needed to stop.

She sighed after a recent assault from a very sleazy looking business man and then immediately perked up. She gave me an evil grin, she'd had a vision that she liked a lot and I was guessing that I wouldn't. "Alice" I asked unintentionally letting fear seep into my voice "what did you see?" she just smiled back at me in her evil pixy way and said you'll see before pretending to drift off into sleep. I stared at her perplexed and then shook my head if Alice wanted to be a weirdo then that was up to her.

An hour or so later we touched down in New York and I still hadn't found out what happened in Alice's vision. I pestered her about it for a while and then gave up she was going to make me wait 

and see like the evil pixy she was. We went down to collect our luggage when there was an announcement "Attention all passengers on flight 1156 from Seattle to New York there has been an accident concerning luggage. The following passenger's bags were stowed on the wrong flight Jessica Albright, Stanley Morrows and Isabella Swan. Please see the information desk for further information, thank you." "Urghhhhhhhhhh Alice I'm never going to see that bag again am I." "Nope" she replied with too much enthusiasm for my taste, "but Bella look on the bright side this just means that we'll have that many more things to shop for. Yay!"

**AN-I know everyone says this but please review it would make my day**


	4. Chapter 4

**AN-I do not own twilight or anything to do with twilight except for copies of the books**

BPOV

Alice and I arrived at a very expensive and extravagant hotel. When we had checked in and arrived at our suites I collapsed on my bed utterly exhausted. Alice came up to me smiling as sweetly as an angel "Bella you look real tired but I just can't let you go to sleep when we have so much shopping to do."

I gave her a very dirty look as she continued to stay there and smile at me like a porcelain doll. "Unless we decided that the time limit wouldn't start until we actually hit the malls. That way you would have time to rest." I glared at Alice I knew that this was just a tactic to get more shopping time. But I was just so tired that I agreed I mean you couldn't buy that much in the few measly hours since we left right? Wrong I was so very, very wrong.

EPOV

While Bella was sleeping Alice snuck down to the hotel lobby to talk to me. "How is she?" I saw Alice roll her eyes at the slight panic creeping into my voice. But I couldn't help it, it had practically been a whole day and every second of it had been agony.

"Bella is fine and she agreed that the time limit starts tomorrow when we arrive at the first shop. Have you got the list of everything we need to buy?" I smiled "You know I do" "Great this is going to be so much fun. We'll have to start with clothes though because she won't be so willing to cooperate once she's on to us.

"Alice's eyes were literally shining with excitement and I was pretty excited myself. Not only had I gotten a whole weekend alone with Bella but now I also got to be as extravagant with what I bought her as I wished.

BPOV

The next morning Alice took me straight to the most expensive designer clothes shops in town. I couldn't help but grin at the fact that all but the newest staff members knew Alice by sight and the new ones knew her by name anyway.

"Alice" I called in a slightly shaky voice "I have decided how I am going to cope with this trip, if you don't tell me how much everything costs then I won't look at the price tags O.K.?" "O.K." was the only reply I got from Alice who at this very moment was looking like a high pixy.

Alice took something out from a chain around her neck and I looked at her in confusion. She put it to her lips and blew out with a vampire strength gust of air. It was a whistle! I groaned thinking of the agony I would go through in the next few days as all shop assistants within hearing distance dropped what they were doing and ran straight over to her. I cursed Alice under my breath only she would have thought to have trained all the New York shop assistants like dogs.

That is when it began she gave her minions instructions and they all started running around doing her bidding. Some started measuring and recording my size with tape measures others ran madly through the shop grabbing large amounts of ridiculously expensive designer clothing, shoes, make up and various other accessories.

I let out a true gasp of horror when I saw the most recent addition to her army of helpers. "Alice" I hissed with fury very evident in my voice "why are there several models here and why do they all look like me!"

"Be reasonable about this Bella we have a whole two days of shopping ahead of us and if I make you try on everything we think of purchasing you would be dead by the end of this and then I would have no one to play makeover with and Edward would actually kill me. I know this because I looked in the future and I wasn't about to let that happen so I just came up with the obvious solution." I was amazed in Alice's mind that sentence had made perfect sense.

No wonder she had been a mental patient when she was human. In fact I suspected the only reason she wasn't one now was because Carlisle and Jasper had been pulling strings. "Fine" was all I muttered in response though. Then I noticed something else rather odd "Alice where are all the other shoppers?" my voice rising noticeably at the end of my sentence

"Well in all the visions I had of us shopping with other shoppers they kept getting in the way and I couldn't have them wasting our time so I rented the mall" "What?" I screeched mentally kicking myself for not giving Alice enough restrictions. "Bella we haven't got time for this just relax and go with the flow look the models and assistants are arriving with the first lot right now.

"Oh no Alice you didn't please tell me I am imagining that" "Whoops sorry Bella I didn't see"

**I couldn't resist it I had to leave you with a bit of a cliffy if you want me to give you a tidbit of the next chapter before I go away on school camp during which time I will not upload anything due to not having acess to computers REVIEW! If you don't simply state that in your review. I would like to send my heartfelt thanks to the people who cared about me and my story enough to review all seven of you ROCK! I will definitely go to your sites and check ou your stuff Happy Easter and everyone REVIEW**


	5. Chapter 5

**AN- I am sincerely sorry for my lack of updates but we had camp and then it was the last week of term and we had a billion assignments. I know that doesn't change the fact that I have neglected you shamefully but now it's the holidays so I can update more! (Until I go away) Anyway enjoy.**

BPOV

On a rack and in the arms of several assistants were costumes. Sexy costumes that are meant to be worn in intimate moments and here I was shopping for them with my soon to be sister in law half of New Yorks sales assistants and ten or so models. Did I mention that the models were wearing these outfits?

I was definitely going to kill Alice especially when we got home and Edward would be able to see every one of these outfits and all the models wearing them. As if I need that sort of competition, I mean come on give a girl a break.

"Alice these costumes better be gone in the next 5 seconds and Edward must never know about any of this unless I tell him. If you don't I am only wearing my most comfortable grey sweats and plain coloured t-shirts for the next month. Understand?"

"Fine but Bella you really should look into this the wedding isn't that far away and you won't regret it I promise" she whined at me with a pathetic pout and adorable puppy eyes. I nearly gave in but one of the models did a whirl and it brought me to my senses, I would look horrible doing that.

"Alice, No!" I practically screamed at her.

"Fine, but you don't have to be so touchy about it" Alice said. "Well seeing as you are a sexually repressed and self conscious prude like Edward we had better start with the rest of the shopping" Alice replied obviously miffed at missing out on her chance to buy me more clothes.

We spent the next three hours buying hundreds of clothes many of which I fully intended of giving to Oxfam as soon as we got back. Just as I was starting to fantasise about all the ways I could achieve this I noticed Alice glaring at me. "What?" I asked completely confused.

"Ugh stupid psychotic psychic vampire" I muttered realisation hitting me. Life was so unfair.

Alice insisted on buying me some of the sluttiest clothes I have ever seen but when I told her that she just sighed and explained to me in a very patronising way that there was a difference between slutty and classy but revealing. In othyer words there was a difference in cheap sutty clothes and rediculously expensive designer slutty clothes.

Alice ended up buying enough clothes, gowns, shoes and accesories for a whole new extensive wardrobe. Which was when I got suspicious.

"Alice when I get home to Forks all my clothes will be right where I left them, won't they?"

"Ummmmm."

"Alice!"

"You can't blame me Bella I can honestly claim that **I **have not touched your clothes" It did not escape my notice how much emphasis she put on the I in that sentence.

"Did you by any chance bribe, threaten, maim or otherwise encourage anyone else to?"

"Come on Bella we both new that as soon as we got home you would have either thrown all these clothes out or you never would have worn them. Am I really that bad at picking clothes? sniff, sniff Have I got such bad fashion sense that the only way I can get you to wear my clothes is to throw out all the others? Dp you really hate me that much Bella?"

"Of course not Alice all the clothes you pick are amazing and I promise to wear whatever you want me to all week" I cried out feeling terribly guilty as I ran to give her a hug. "And you know I love you Alice I can't believe you would ever think otherwise"

"Thanks Bella" A suddenly very cheerful Alice proclaimed as she fervently hugged me back. "I knew you would understand. Now back to shopping we're wasting valuable time"

Many hours and ensembles later.

"Alice, remind me to never ever give you free restraint on a shopping trip again. My feet are covered in blisters and I have never felt more tired in my life" I yawned before collapsing into bed already half asleep.

"Just make you get your sleep you need to be up bright and early tomorrow morning for your surprise." Alice replied with a highly amused expression and a really annoying all-knowing look. Whatever I'd whinge about it in the morning right now I am sleepy so sleepy.

I was having the most wonderful dream where I woke to the voice of the most perfect creature in the world. "Edward." I mumbled completely content. Wait Edward? I wasn't dreaming that actually was Edward lying next to me on the bed!


End file.
